Life after Covid

If you live in the UK, then you will know that on the 12th of April certain businesses will be re-opening and some lockdown measures will be lifted. By the 21st of June we have been told that life will pretty much go back to ‘normal’ as there will be no more restrictions on social gatherings. But if this past year has taught us anything it is that things don’t always go according to plan, and we should be prepared to expect the unexpected.

 Still, we are happy and hopeful for the future. However, this does not mean we won’t be feeling other emotions such as confusion, anxiety, worry, overwhelm and even anger. If that’s the case for you too, then I hope you can take some solace from knowing that you are not alone. We have all gone through a Collective Trauma at the hands of the Covid Pandemic. These mixed emotions are therefore a completely normal part of the healing process we are all now going through. It may surprise you to think that you have been part of a Collective Trauma so let me explain a little more about what that is.

 The Term Collective Trauma refers to the tear in the fabric of society, brought on by an external event or natural disaster leaving a gaping hole in the threads of social life, affecting social bonds and the sense of community. (Erikson, 1976p. 154).

 Acknowledging this experience allows us to be kinder to ourselves and those around us. We are all adjusting and coping in different ways and at a different pace. While returning to new-old ways will see some of us grabbing every opportunity with both hands, others may be treading with more caution. There is no right or wrong way, but the best way is to go at your own pace and be patient with others.

How can we return to life after COVID?

 Firstly, acknowledge that you have grown and evolved during this time. You have most likely adopted new habits, beliefs and ways of thinking which helped you to adapt and cope. For example, I began to pay more attention to the way I eat and the importance of my health. This is something I would like to keep up and will therefore keep sometime in my day for exercising and cooking healthier meals. However, I hope to revisit my favourite food spots again and eat out occasionally so it’s important I remain flexible and make healthy choices where I can if I want to maintain my current healthier habit. During lockdown, I also kept in touch with family on a regular basis and while I start to get busier, I know that they will too so, I will put less pressure on myself to speak with them as often as I did before.  

 You may find it helpful to write down the new habits and beliefs you have picked up during the past year so you are aware of them and more vigilant of how they could help or hinder your transition into a post COVID world. At the very least it will help you to notice why you may be feeling irritable or anxious around certain situations that may collide with your current habits and beliefs and help you to put things into perspective and be a bit kinder to yourself. Here are some other things to consider:

Avoid comparisons

I know this is easier said than done, especially with our strong ties to social media. But if you find you are starting to compare yourself to others or thinking they may be bouncing back and getting into the swing of things so much easier than you, then take some time to disconnect. Remember social media is a showreel of reality and portrayed through individual interpretation. Focus on your own journey and your own pace.

Focus on the present

Try to take things a day or week at a time. It is a great idea to plan ahead but don’t become too rigid in your plans. Leave some space for going with the flow and changing your mind. This will reduce your chances of being disappointed when things don’t go according to plan.

Adopt a gradual pace

While it may be tempting to say yes to every upcoming party or social gathering situation, it is best to give your social butterfly wings time to unravel from their cocoon. Sensory overload is a real thing and going from the comfort and predictability of our homes to a bustling, noisy environment can easily cause feelings of overwhelm and stress. Jumping back into our old social scene may feel different and may cause a lot of internal questions around safety, distance, wearing masks and so on. For this reason, build up your social momentum gradually.

Identify your triggers and what helps you relax

Knowing what situations or events bring out the worst in you is the simplest way to prepare ahead for them. The more self-aware you become around this the better equipped you are at managing the stress, worry, and anxiety those situations may bring. Similarly, it is beneficial to know what helps you to feel relaxed and at your best. One benefit of the past year has been the amount of time we have been able to spend in our company and the self-awareness it has brought. go back to those coping strategies to help you regain a sense of calm. E.g. slow mindful breathing, a comforting cup of tea in your favourite mug, and a relaxing piece of music.

Build a positive routine

Having daily positive habits that involve sufficient and good quality sleep, healthy, nourishing meals, and regular exercise and fresh air are the foundations of establishing good mental health. Building some of these into your daily life will help you feel at your best and better prepared to deal with the things life throws at you.

 According to Martin Seligman who spearheaded the Positive Psychology movement, wellbeing can be increased if we dedicate time and energy to 5 elements referred to as PERMA. These are the pillars of subjective wellbeing and a clear reference for where we can dedicate some of our time in order to feel happier.

P. Positive emotions, thinking positive thoughts and reframing negative situations.

E. Engagement. Spending time doing things that make us feel good, or calm and blurs out the concept of time e.g. a good book, painting, dancing.

R. Relationships. Spending time connecting with others, communicating with them and expressing our feelings.

M. Meaning, dedicating time to the things that give us a sense of purpose and a reason beyond ourselves.

A. Accomplishment, provide yourself with opportunities to grow and gain a sense of accomplishment.

 To learn more about PERMA click here and read a previous blog post.

Schedule some worry time

Lastly, it is important that throughout everything you are kind and compassionate with yourself. If worry and anxiety do come up don’t ignore them. They may bring up valid concerns and even if they don’t acknowledge that they are there will help them pass with more ease. Parking our thoughts is a great CBT tool that I go back to and have shared with clients who have reported great results. Click here to learn how easy it is to do.

 I want to end by reminding you that after collective trauma there comes collective healing, growth and resilience. We have been strong enough to endure and survive this period and are now more psychologically capable because of it. Together but in our own time, we will bounce back.